You've just got engaged and it feels GREAT!
You're flashing the ring around so it can just hit the right light to sparkle & shine. I remember when I got engaged and I was travelling to work I would hold onto the bars with my left hand just so everyone could see the ring. Lol!
It’s all so exciting and you probably can't wait to get started on all the planning, Right?
I’d like to make a suggestion, hold off buying the mags, looking at dresses and pinning things to Pinterest straightaway. Take some time and just enjoy your engagement. It is such a beautiful experience being newly engaged regardless of how long you’ve been together as a couple.
There’s a reason why you’ll hear new brides say that they’re glad the wedding is over.
The pressure of wedding planning is gone and they don’t have to manage the difficulties that come with being engaged. This breaks my heart, because I do believe you should enjoy your engagement.
So I wanted to offer some advice on how you can keep the enjoyment in your engagement season.
Focus On Your Marriage As Much As Your Wedding
This is an important mindset shift for the reason that your decision making becomes easier when you’re focused on the end goal of marriage. Preparing to do life with the one you love.
Your wedding day is the first day of your marriage,and your wedding is to celebrate your marriage.
Figure Out What’s Important To You Both
Having the space to figure out what is important to you both, not just about the wedding but about your marriage is key. If you both have different backgrounds/cultures/locations, there may be different traditions, travel options, fashion etc to consider and that’s before the budget comes into play.
Having this conversation together first allows you the room to think about what is meaningful for you both. It also helps when you have those well meaning people - bestie, mother, mother-in law, auntie, work colleague, cousin - giving you suggestions (and they will, everyone has an opinion) you’ll feel more comfortable saying no to suggestions and ideas that don’t fit your wedding vision.
Enjoy The Moment + Stay Present
You want to spend some time together with your fiancé just living in the moment of being engaged. Once you start planning for the wedding your focus moves into the future.
You can use the time to think about your foundations, where you'll live (that's if you haven’t already), how you'll work finances (i.e. joint account/separate accounts), set some goals.
Save some money - maybe you want something specific for your wedding day, a dream honeymoon, saving for your first home together. Whatever it may be, a longer engagement will allow for this.
Continue With Date Nights
I’m telling ya, if you’re not on it, you’ll spend about 90% of your time talking wedding with your significant other. Some of this time can be spent investing in your relationship. So, keep on dating, if these have fallen away, it’s a good time to re-start dating each other again with ‘A no wedding talk’ policy.
Your life is going to getting busier as the months and years progress, so making date nights a non-negotiable now, sets you up for the future and can be used as a time to connect deeper. Plan for your future, listen to each other and laugh together.
You'll only get engaged once, this is all part of your wedding journey and it’s an amazing feeling. Don't stress and worry about the wedding planning yet.
Then when you feel ready in a month or two or six or twelve, you can give me a call and I’ll be sure to take care of you.
Did you have a long engagement before starting planning? I'd love to know your story, leave a comment below.